My mind is racing and spinning at the same time today. Concentrating on one task at a time feels beyond my grasp.
I am breaking my own rule lately.
I long to embrace the last days of summer with my girls. The days filled with little agenda are fleeting. I want to hold them tightly but am feeling pulled in so many directions.
My mind is filling with a running list of “To Do’s”. I even got a new app with a nifty way of organizing and filing all of these things that hold some sort of importance. I am list maker, a list forgetter and a list re-maker.
There were a few moments that were less than realistic last week. Deciding to move some rooms and belongings around, giving some walls a fresh coat of paint and thinking it would take exactly a day and half to do. I also took an educated (although delusional) guess as to how much these projects would cost.
Yeah, I was wrong.
Wrong on the amount of time spent and wrong on the cost involved!
One room took 6 coats of paint until I finally got the walls the right color. By this time I was looking at these walls as if they were a beast to defeat. When I look at things that way, I usually find the gumption the keep going and win the battle! Country music filled my iphone speaker and I crooned my way through the paint battle. The battle lasted 5 days before victory was achieved!
I also decided to surprise my hubby with this stroke of brilliant ideas. Doesn’t everyone decide over a morning cup of coffee to move rooms of furniture around, paint two rooms and remake the sewing room into a school/sewing/office room, thinking they can get most of it done before hubby gets home from golf league? Yes? No?
I would make a case that there may have been something lurking in those coffee beans, but I know better.
I get these ideas and start thinking I can do it all.
We got the rooms painted, the furniture repainted and some of the decorations back on the walls. My room is still holding a few piles of things I have yet to decide what to do with. I have only stubbed my toes twice!
Parking my van in the garage isn’t possible yet. I need to finish spray painting one more piece of furniture! I will get it done…tomorrow...I keep saying tomorrow!
Ordering school books for the upcoming school year is top on the list for today! Yeah, I know, I should have done that already! But, I was savoring summer and then I temporarily lost my mind to painting walls!
In the midst of all of this I have been organizing (aka, all the stuff I don’t know what to do with gets piled in the laundry room and I can barely make it to the washer or dryer).
I have a plan. Really, I do.
My girls are back to playing sports. Matt will be coaching this season and I am supposed to be a ‘Parent Volunteer’! Any of you who know my athletic abilities may have just spit! Don’t you worry, I will not be actually out on the field. My duties, if any, will be limited to the dugout and possibly organizing snacks! Feel better? Me too!
I woke up a little late this morning and was starting to talk myself out of exercising. My daughters ipod kept bleeping and while I was fumbling around with it to silence it I accidentally took three pictures of myself. How? I still don’t know for sure! Anyway, these pictures were less than glamourous and a great reminder that a double chin is not something I plan to keep. Got my workout clothes on and did my thing. Motivation can come from unexpected sources!
In the midst of all of this whirling around I am reminding myself that I don’t have to do it all.
I don’t have to have every item on my list done in one day or even one week.
I don’t have to squeeze the life out of these days while I try to savor them.
I don’t have to have my children involved in everything they want to be involved in.
I don’t have to have my house cleaned and perfectly organized.
What I do need to do is step back and evaluate what really matters.
Am I taking care of myself as I attempt to take care of everyone and everything else?
Am I spending time in the Word and using breathe to speak with the One who gave me breathe?
Am I showing my husband that he matters more to me than paint, projects and lists?
Am I leaving margin in my days to listen to the hearts of my little people and respond to them in a way that matters?
If I don’t leave margin in my days, I end up regretting that day. Guarding against the rush can so easily be forgotten. It is especially “great” when I rush so I can go relax. I mean seriously?!
My unfinished school/sewing/office room may be looking like this still but I am gonna take a step back and savor the moments of this day!
I’m going to leave margin for breathing today….I might even paint my toes…they only require 2 coats of paint!
Enjoy this day!