I have been thinking about time in a whole new light these last few years.
The value of present time is an almost unfathomable gift.
Last night I was looking through photos of my girls taken in days gone bye. The way they have changed is breathtaking. The way they have remained the same quickens my heart. I see pictures of Matt and I when we were much younger, remembering who I was at that time, what dreams my heart held, the path I thought life would take me down.
Comments have been made often lately to me regarding the way I spend my time. My ears have heard these comments and by the time they have been processed by my brain, my heart has intercepted them and I find myself tripped up.
The dance between head and heart can be quite out of rhythm.
I am a person who is quite comfortable with who I am. But I have allowed some of these words, these opinions to wear on me. Why do I do that?
Time is a gift given to all.
There has never been this moment.
The next breath you breathe has never been. The next step, never taken.
What you and I do with this gift, this commodity of time is up to us.
What if we created a shift in how we view time? What if we see time as if it was a commodity we have been entrusted with? Something more valuable than all else. A commodity to be invested, cherished and wisely used. A treasure of such value that it can be only used once in whatever way we choose. There is no going back and we are not promised time going forward…we are promised this present time.
How would that change our next moment? Our next day? Our next week, month, year?
I have spent time many ways…
I have spent time with sand between my toes and waves crashing against me.
I have spent time listening to the latest track that has found it’s way from the imaginings of my man to the headphones on my ears. Creativity born through time.
I have spent time in quiet moments with my Creator. A heart overflowing with thanks for all that He has done in me. I have also wrestled desperately, trying to grasp circumstances beyond human control or intervention, my heart eventually coming to a place of acceptance and trust.
I have spent time watching a favorite Curious Monkey and his antics, cuddled in with little people who have tangles in their hair and sleep still resting in the corners of morning eyes.
I have spent time shopping for the perfect outfit, gazing in a mirror with confidence. I have also spent time shopping with tears streaming my cheeks, the reflection I see looks nothing like the person I know.
I have spent time tripping over toys. Boxes that held groceries, now a masterpiece for a beloved fairy to live in.
I have spent time scrubbing dishes, chopping veggies and setting tables. Preparing meals for my family that not only nourish our bodies but foster conversations about our day, filling our souls.
I have spent time singing loud and dancing crazy. Not just shower time singing…all throughout the house loud, crazy singing until my children are laughing hard begging me to do it again. I have also answered the front door in a spontaneous moment of song, singing my greeting to the little friend standing on the porch. A moment several have come to accept as my crazy bit of normal.
I have spent time worrying over things that never happened. Sleepless nights waisted on what could be, but never was. Jaw clenched and fists tight in response to the imaginings of my mind.
I have spent time laughing until tears ran down my cheeks, my side hurting and breathe escaping me.
I have spent time processing words spoken by doctors that I did not have long to live. Time, it seemed was running out rapidly for me. Asked if I had any final wishes…final wishes? I wish for time, just time.
I have spent time knee deep in snow, searching for the perfect Christmas tree. Matt,my girls and I searching and searching for branches that are just right. Not too wide, too narrow, too tall or too small. One that would hold treasured ornaments, topped with an angel made by three year old hands.
I have spent time teaching little eyes to read, fingers to count and imaginations to ponder events that have shaped this world we live in.
I have spent time rushing from one end of a hospital to the other. Two of those I love most, facing surgeries at the same time. Whispering scripture as I hurry through hallways and corridors, willing my knees not to buckle beneath the desperation of that moment.
I have spent time…
and there have been days when I feel like time has spent me.
These reasons I give…ways time has gone…these are why I spend my time the way I do…why I make decisions differently than some.
Grasping this concept of time as a commodity, living with sincere intention has become my passion.
What I do in these moments and with these moments I have been given is the stuff that can change this world. Yes, we impact the world around us with how we spend our time.
Will I use time to set me upon my life’s path? Or will I just let whatever happens happen?
Will I use time to speak life into broken people, places and circumstances? Or will I only seek what is comfortable?
Will I use time in ways that my children and husband feel cherished or will I skate by with as little effort as possible?
These words from King Solomon stir my soul…
With these thoughts in mind today, how will you spend your time? May you spend it with great courage and purpose, knowing that you have potential beyond the scope of your imaginings to be what never has been and to do what has never been done!